No one enjoys loneliness or do they?
Today I reflect on my life and the loneliness I do or do not come to feel.
There are people around me that are ever lonely, ever seeking comfort, ever seeking an outside source for completion. I actually almost feel the opposite. I understand that it is only I that can complete myself, no one else. Why do we seek out side sources for this comfort? Only to be disappointed when it isn’t the right type, not the right amount, or you feel unsatisfied after someone tries. You have to seek refuge within yourself, no one else can provide that for you. We have become so dependent on electronics, and people to comfort and console. People have become terrified to spend time alone with themselves because they are forced to confront or experience certain feelings that they can avoid with comfort from out side sources.
There are some people that keep super busy, and when you ask them when they have time for themselves their reply is that they don’t. Maybe they are actually making a conscious choice to be consistently busy to avoid the loneliness they know they will feel when they stop being busy.
Then there are others like myself who actually prefer to be alone. I feel loneliness very rarely, once every few months to be exact. It hits me when I realize I don’t really have friends I can call on for certain things. This is a conscious choice I make as I am very particular about the people I allow in my life and who I share my time with. Even though I am still very young I do feel like I have lived many different lifetimes. This stage in my life I have been working on for the past 2 years or so. I have been working hard to identify and acknowledge when someone in my life is not beneficial to me or my growth. Not in a petty way, but in a way that I know what I need and what I want in my friendships and my relationships with people. By doing this, by putting myself first, in regards to my heath and well-being I have come to have a very positive, rewarding, satisfying lifestyle. Yes, at times it can get lonely, but once every few months is completely okay with me.
I spend most of my time at home with my two cats, occasionally going dancing or for dinner with a good friend. Sometimes I end up on random adventures that allow me to meet new people or do new things. I feel that by not having to be constantly busy and constantly around people it allows me to enjoy the experiences I do have with them so much more. I’ve been very busy, I’ve had lots of friends and done lots of things. In the end, one of my favourite people to spend time with is myself. I’m pretty good company. The sooner we learn to be more comfortable with ourselves and our feelings, the better off we’ll be. Learn to embrace and work through them, rather then letting them have a hold or control over you. Whether you are alone, or with a group of friends you will find comfort knowing yourself that little bit more.
It may not be easy, but it’ll definitely be worth it.
Never stop learning and growing. You are your own best friend.
*** wrote this blog listening to deerhunter ***